Day 365

As the last few hours of 2018 wind down I must say thank you. Thanks to all that have stayed for this bitch of a ride. Since the last I wrote a lot has happened. I became really sad and didnt want to write or do anything for that matter. Once I got over it, the procrastination started, then the worrying. I just became lost. The transplant evaluations were put to a hault. Well the Friday before Christmas i was told I wouldnt be put on the list. Why? Well because i dont have a working esophagus. The transplant will make ne more sick that i am. Sucks but in a way I’m relieved. I was always scared it wouldn’t take. Then that would be tragic on my end. Ive realized that it’s going to be ok though. I look at it as i was denied because it wouldn’t have worked. I have found that i have mixed connective tissue disease as well.

All 2018 I’ve been stopping myself and punishing myself for choices and overthinking and just being too concerned with the consequences thay I forgot to live. 2018 tried to take my spirit. But guess who is still here.

For 2019 I am living. I am walking away from deception, fear, self doubt, procrastination, and self sabotage. I am walking with God by my side, angels cheering me on, and love for myself.