Destined for Greatness

Of Course I Struggle…I Just Dont Quite. Thats Not An Option.
Do not allow anyone to tell you that you can not do something. Im choosing to believe in myself and not accept the disrespect and challenges thats been thrown at me.
2019 is the year of greatness💜

#lupuswarrior
#2019 #lupuswarrior #mixedconnectivetissuedisease

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The Let Go

Letting go with no warning is the most tragic thing that could be done. Cold Turkey Love I call it. That is me today. Been feeling this decision for months and today i just had enough.

I love hard because I’m a passionate kind of person 💜. For so long I ran from it because I was afraid of my love not being returned. Can’t keep running from who I am. I don’t make quick decisions when it comes to my love for someone. My decision to love someone means you become a part of my soul forever and that attachment is not easily broken. I love with no expectations because sometimes people aren’t in a place to love others, but they need all they can. You also have those peole that are still healing from a damaged relationships. Relationships that left them in shambles and they really need that friend.

I know how it feels on many occassions. There are times when I really need love but I am not in the capacity to reciprocate it.

This was on my heart for this morning because today i let go of that person. That person I wanted to be there forever but deep down knew i couldnt. That person that i fell in love with and will be forever apart of my soul. They are someone who is afraid to love because of their past hurt. Ive learned to love regardless. I cant be a robot amd hide my emotions. That’s not who I am. Tired of acting like I can be that person. Its just driving me crazy.

If your going through that and conflicted with letting go, let it motivate you more than anything. It hurts sometimes, but it’s better to live a life filled with love than live a life with regrets of not loving enough.

The Stalker in Us

Hey Ya’ll 👋🏾

So I’ve started a Netflix Original YOU. All I can say is it’s GOOD. While watching it I start to realize a lot of different things. Its not your typical guy stalking girl show. Its deeper than that. One everyone has that stalker instinct. We look up that new guy/girl. We check on our significant others and friends. We become obsessed every once in a while with something. Would you call that creepy or normalizing curiosity?

Also that Peaches is a real bitch. Everyone has or have had a Peach in their life. That one “friend” that cant stand to see you rise. That “friend” that has to interject themselves in your success some way or other. That “friend” that is single and cant stand to see you in a relationship. That “friend” that wants you all to themselves.

Gets you to thinking how do we attract such vile individuals. Well thats simple. Your too fucking awesome and they are jealous. At some point we have to let those individuals go. We have to just know. How though? Thats up to us. We can always keep them close once you’ve identified them so they dont sabotage us. We can also let them go. It’s all up to you and how you want to channel your energy. Me I chose to let em go. What about you?

Pass the Message

Hey Ya’ll!!!👋🏾

Today I sat in the park. No real reason, just to be alone and in my own thoughts. I felt the need to surround myself with my own energy and embrace myself.

Anyways, as I sat I saw a mother posing as her daughter took pictures of her. Her daughter yelled “beautiful mama” then ran to show her the phone. You can tell by the look on the moms face her daughters words meant the world to her. It makes you think about the smallest gestures and how they can brighten the soul.

Its ok to let people know they are beautiful. Or handsome lol. Society sexualizes just avour everything amd makes it seem like everything is part of flirting. If society only realized that a simple comment can change a person’s life for the better, more people would speak to one another. Take the time and let someone know they are beautiful. Make a day.

Past is Knocking

These past few days the past as been coming back to try and haunt me. The present is causing confusion and happiness at the same time. They sa when your truly happy certain things and individuals from your past will pop up to ruin it. When evil pops up that means your on the right path to. a great destination. Well I must me on a great path, because ex’s and certain individuals/things that caused me great stress are trying to worm their way back. When it comes to situations like this I have to remember to step back and realize the good. Dont look back. I’ve thought about it and I just want to keep going forward. That even includes letting go of certain things in my present.

Birthdays vs Time

Hey ya’ll! Birthdays are awesome to me. Another year older and wiser. Well yesterday was my little big brother’s 22nd birthday and today is my Meme Birthday! Im the over board type. Everything has to be perfect to me. Well in the mist of getting everything together I started to feel the need to rush. Almost felt like I was running out of time to get everything done. Then I thought about the post by #internetbestie.

I shouldnt rush things in life. If it shall be then it will fall in place and go according to plan. We forget to live and relax when it comes to certain things. During yours or another person’s birthday take the time and relax and enjoy the blessing of having another year. Having the ability to spend that birthday with the special individual is all that matter.

Your Choice

You make your life. Nobody can live your life for you. You are the only one stromg enough to live it. That why its given to YOU. So when your in a situation be careful who you go to for advice. Not all advice is good advice. Im blessed to have the friends I have. They tell me the straight truth because thats what i need. Not out of spite or envy. However there are individuals in the world that do just that. They tell you your idea sucks or you should date that person because they want what you have. They dont want you to rise above them. This new year just be cautious. Its ok to move in silence. Its ok to keep your dreams to yourself. You are great person. No matter how many times you change your mind or forgive that person or just stop giving a fuck about things that dont matter, you are still great.

#internetbestie

Your Peace

We stress over so much in life. Alot of what we stress over is our fault. We never really sit back an analyze ourselves. We allow all different types of vibes and energies to come into our life, then holler we want peace. Take the time to analyze how that stress became a reality. You cant change people but you can change how things work into your life. Preople will come and try to destroy you. They do that by gaining your trust or getting in your head. If it feels wrong or your start to question then go with that gut feeling. Like #internetbestie says Protect your peace. You do this you protect yourself from destruction.

Talks Time with Zee #internetbestie

Day 365

As the last few hours of 2018 wind down I must say thank you. Thanks to all that have stayed for this bitch of a ride. Since the last I wrote a lot has happened. I became really sad and didnt want to write or do anything for that matter. Once I got over it, the procrastination started, then the worrying. I just became lost. The transplant evaluations were put to a hault. Well the Friday before Christmas i was told I wouldnt be put on the list. Why? Well because i dont have a working esophagus. The transplant will make ne more sick that i am. Sucks but in a way I’m relieved. I was always scared it wouldn’t take. Then that would be tragic on my end. Ive realized that it’s going to be ok though. I look at it as i was denied because it wouldn’t have worked. I have found that i have mixed connective tissue disease as well.

All 2018 I’ve been stopping myself and punishing myself for choices and overthinking and just being too concerned with the consequences thay I forgot to live. 2018 tried to take my spirit. But guess who is still here.

For 2019 I am living. I am walking away from deception, fear, self doubt, procrastination, and self sabotage. I am walking with God by my side, angels cheering me on, and love for myself.

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